Wolf

 

He’s offered it to me

His savagery

Blazed in the wolf

beneath the human mask

Howls of hunger

feed on my skin and bone

Blood and sweat on silken sheets of white

Desire is the master of fear

and it tests me

 it’s shadow coats me in dreams

Oh…yes

Traces of your tongue deep as you

Bite down on my offering

Oceans and waterfalls for your thirst

a carnivore

The first man

awakens me

In a piercing moment

I am fed

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Day 5: Transsiberian writing through Russia

Birdie,
It’s our first full day on the train and what can I say but that its an adventure already. We are all so exiting and all talk at once about how great it is when we get together. I love my little bunk and I spend at least an hour a day just contemplating the view outside my little window. It’s absolutely gorgeous here and I wish I could have brought you along. We made a stop at Khabarovsk station today and got to look around a little.The station is huge! There were people smoking like crazy the smoke smelled diffrent and I kind of wanted to try it but I didn’t. Aicia was dying to smoke too, she is not one to be teased with nicotene. At the end she decided against it. I think if she had given in I would have too, once you’ve been a smoker all of the familiar feelings come back when you smell one. Anyhow, I have to get to the business of writing now but I will send you pics. Love you!

 

This trip so far has taught me to devote time to what’s important which for me in this case is self discovery. Solitude has surprised me. How much I enjoy just asking myself questions and answering them without all of the noise that might surround me on a regular day. I have learned that when I devote time to me and to my writing we both become richer and more full of life. We develop like an old polaroid picture, a little clearer and brighter. The clouds of the imagination part and we see the sun shinning a light on what it is we really need or want to say.

What is itthat makes me creative and gives me the ability to create?
That will be my focus today. I’m ready. Not nervous, just ready.

Day 4 of the Transsiberian Railroad adventure!

Its been a beautiful yet exhausting day. Ladies and gents we’re on the train! And its amazeballs!!

My little room!

 

 

 

 

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like the softest of winds

in the darkness unseen

smooth and sudden he became my sin

black velvet body

smile like a king

drawing me in

I’m suffocating

chasing

expanding

creating

edible dreams

sugar and whipped cream solutions

for the disapproval of kin

command me to be well

as i worship his skin

a thousand touches

for the unquenchable thirst within

love given and returned

in the span of a head spin

out of control

before skin met skin

shall we begin

again

again

and again

 

The cycle

Breaking the cycle 

Is not easy 

The wheel you go around in has spokes

and is perfectly round, so hard to stop

once it gets rolling

trampling everything in its wake

even when you love it

you can still step on it 

Breaking it. 

The intended recipient

I write every day. I don’t blog every day because it becomes monotonous for me. I don’t have something great to say every day and for me it’s best to share quality. I keep the quantity for myself. That’s why journaling is so good for me. I don’t share that.  They’re just a record of my life mundane and ordinary for we all can’t be Anais Nin who, to me has the best journals I have read thus far. Still what I do share, for me has to have a point because I want it to reach someone even if its just one person and resonate. I want whoever reads it to get where I’m coming from and maybe even see things in a way they hadn’t before. That’s one of the reasons I write. Lets face it, we all just want to be heard. We all want to connect in one way or other with our fellow readers even if its just one. We want to give that one the best we have. I know we would all love to touch millions with our writing and believe me so do I but it makes me feel very happy and grateful when the person my message was meant to reach absolutely gets it and appreciates its meaning and hopefully it did something  for them. If I’m lucky that happens. And I believe that that’s why it was written , to reach that person. The one person that needed to hear it most. I’m good with that. I know that most of us get discouraged when we write something we love and deem important and it hardly gets read. I know I have felt this way many times  but then I get that comment from that one individual who it touched and who did get and I realize, it got to where it needed to get. The right audience received it. We can ask for no more than that. So if you’re feeling discouraged I urge you to keep writing. Write about what resonates with you. Because what resonates with you will definitely resonate with someone else as well. More than that it will be well written since it’s from the heart. So keep the pen on the page. Someone is waiting on your words

Why?

When I think of you
There are no butterflies
Instead there is a feeling of drunkenness that does not allow me
To think
Straight
I hear no songs of love or feel no woozy feeling
Of everlasting enduring bliss
Although I do feel overwhelmed by you
When you look at me
Responding to a question I’ve asked you
Two hours before

When I look at you
There are no double visions
Faint feelings of fainting at seeing the love of my life
Or shit like that
That only lasts about a Minute when people think they’re in love
But aren’t
Because when they don’t see you
It’s out of sight out of mind
And you stick to mine like glue
You know?

It’s when I feel you or taste you
That shit becomes real for me cause you’re
In my blood like a stream
In a really long song that you think will never end
And you taste like when you eat the best fruit ever
And wish it will never end
And that’s why I know this love is real
For me
I don’t know about you
Cause you’re the one who gets inside me every time
True?

I just float beneath or above you
Knowing there’s something potent there like
A warm home cooked meal on a cold cold day
when you swear your fingers will fall off from lack of heat
and your feet want to compete
with the rest of your body
on who gets home first
out of need to be around you

thats some shit
this love thing
but I still wonder
why?