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He’s offered it to me
His savagery
Blazed in the wolf
beneath the human mask
Howls of hunger
feed on my skin and bone
Blood and sweat on silken sheets of white
Desire is the master of fear
and it tests me
 it’s shadow coats me in dreams
Traces of your tongue deep as you
Bite down on my offering
Oceans and waterfalls for your thirst
a carnivore
The first man
awakens me
In a piercing moment
I am fed
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Day 5: Transsiberian writing through Russia

It’s our first full day on the train and what can I say but that its an adventure already. We are all so exiting and all talk at once about how great it is when we get together. I love my little bunk and I spend at least an hour a day just contemplating the view outside my little window. It’s absolutely gorgeous here and I wish I could have brought you along. We made a stop at Khabarovsk station today and got to look around a little.The station is huge! There were people smoking like crazy the smoke smelled diffrent and I kind of wanted to try it but I didn’t. Aicia was dying to smoke too, she is not one to be teased with nicotene. At the end she decided against it. I think if she had given in I would have too, once you’ve been a smoker all of the familiar feelings come back when you smell one. Anyhow, I have to get to the business of writing now but I will send you pics. Love you!


This trip so far has taught me to devote time to what’s important which for me in this case is self discovery. Solitude has surprised me. How much I enjoy just asking myself questions and answering them without all of the noise that might surround me on a regular day. I have learned that when I devote time to me and to my writing we both become richer and more full of life. We develop like an old polaroid picture, a little clearer and brighter. The clouds of the imagination part and we see the sun shinning a light on what it is we really need or want to say.

What is itthat makes me creative and gives me the ability to create?
That will be my focus today. I’m ready. Not nervous, just ready.

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Day 4 of the Transsiberian Railroad adventure!

Its been a beautiful yet exhausting day. Ladies and gents we’re on the train! And its amazeballs!!

My little room!





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like the softest of winds
in the darkness unseen
smooth and sudden he became my sin
black velvet body
smile like a king
drawing me in
I’m suffocating
edible dreams
sugar and whipped cream solutions
for the disapproval of kin
command me to be well
as i worship his skin
a thousand touches
for the unquenchable thirst within
love given and returned
in the span of a head spin
out of control
before skin met skin
shall we begin
and again


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The cycle

Breaking the cycle 

Is not easy 

The wheel you go around in has spokes

and is perfectly round, so hard to stop

once it gets rolling

trampling everything in its wake

even when you love it

you can still step on it 

Breaking it. 

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The intended recipient

I write every day. I don’t blog every day because it becomes monotonous for me. I don’t have something great to say every day and for me it’s best to share quality. I keep the quantity for myself. That’s why journaling is so good for me. I don’t share that.  They’re just a record of my life mundane and ordinary for we all can’t be Anais Nin who, to me has the best journals I have read thus far. Still what I do share, for me has to have a point because I want it to reach someone even if its just one person and resonate. I want whoever reads it to get where I’m coming from and maybe even see things in a way they hadn’t before. That’s one of the reasons I write. Lets face it, we all just want to be heard. We all want to connect in one way or other with our fellow readers even if its just one. We want to give that one the best we have. I know we would all love to touch millions with our writing and believe me so do I but it makes me feel very happy and grateful when the person my message was meant to reach absolutely gets it and appreciates its meaning and hopefully it did something  for them. If I’m lucky that happens. And I believe that that’s why it was written , to reach that person. The one person that needed to hear it most. I’m good with that. I know that most of us get discouraged when we write something we love and deem important and it hardly gets read. I know I have felt this way many times  but then I get that comment from that one individual who it touched and who did get and I realize, it got to where it needed to get. The right audience received it. We can ask for no more than that. So if you’re feeling discouraged I urge you to keep writing. Write about what resonates with you. Because what resonates with you will definitely resonate with someone else as well. More than that it will be well written since it’s from the heart. So keep the pen on the page. Someone is waiting on your words