Posted in artist, author, blogging, change, character, create, dating, emotions, empowerment, faith, fear, feelings, healing, honesty, hope, learning, life, listening, love, opinion, Relationships, self, selflove, tips, trust, truth, writer, writing

Don’t change for the world…

change-is-bad-400x400
There is a very big difference between changing for someone and making a change for yourself. Growth and improvement are a personal choice. It tells you that you are currently unhappy with something in or about you. Change for the mere desire to please someone else I find never ends well. I have done this in the past and have never really benefited from the results.
The first thing most people try to alter in themselves is either physical or mental. You try to change what you believe in order to make someone feel as if their opinions on certain issues are better or more accurate than yours, therefore making you more pleasing to them in their minds eye. You agree with their points in all discuss so that they feel you they have made a good choice in you. You might also alter your hair or choice in clothes because they’ve told you what they like and you want them to like you better for it. I’ve had such tendencies in the past when I was much younger and the worst part was that I recognized it even then for what it was. I figured if I look how you like and agree with your views then in turn you will like me. I would be the right choice for you and inspire you to love and accept me despite any cost to me. Hiding myself beneath blankets of falsehood in order to have your approval. It took me many years to discover that these things are not only ridiculous but impossible.
Reconstructing yourself into some type of character for the benefit of another is not only the most difficult thing you can do but the most foolish because masks fall. Your pretense may last you a little while, you may even have the other person completely fooled for a while. You may also be able to convince yourself that you are happy with your new makeover but the truth is masks fall and usually they fall hard. Its often not understood that pretending to be something for someone else only works when you’re with that person. For a moment you might feel complete in it but you are who you are and eventually you can not hide it. You must be yourself and you are not for everybody.
This is why I find change for the sake of pleasing another so confusing and inconceivable. Isn’t it much better to just be yourself and find someone who enhances who you are? Why go through all of the aggravation of trying to be someone you’re not? Something you’re not for someone who might end up being temporary in your life anyway because if you’re pretending it is certain to be temporary. When things last its because they began with truth and the fact that you are certain in who you are. Let that shine so that your aura might then attract that one person who will appreciate and enjoy that shine. That is your essence and who you are is a miracle. Be that.
Advertisements
Posted in character, couples, faith, help, honesty, listening, love, lovers, Relationships, self, selflove, simplicity, trust, truth

What do you want?

 

Have you ever sat down and really thought about this?
Have you honestly asked yourself this question and answered it beyond the basic such as wanting a house or car?
What does your heart really want?

We all want the comforts that make life easier, this is no debate. Your passion and what you want to live and not just exist is another.

My passion is to write honestly about my thoughts as I navigate through life. My desire is to do it well in all its forms. But what I want is a hodge podge of things. Health and financial stability for all the ones I love? Of course but we are talking about the core of me here. This is a broad subject and sometimes I don’t even know everything I want in life so let us talk a little about everything, shall we? and since I am a poet usually forcused on all types of love please forgive me if I veer that way ever so often. Let us talk…

LOVE

What do you want out of love?
We all know love ain’t simple infact it’s quite complicated on so many levels it can scare a monk out of his robes in seconds. It’s also beautiful and when it works, miraculous.

This is what I want from love.
Honesty.
I want and deserve an honest love.
True to the core. Honesty begets love to me.

An honest love is just that. Everything laid out on the table between two people who decide to take a chance one one another.
Nothing hidden or unmentioned.
Clear like crystal glasses on the mantel.
I want you to be who you say you are and do what you say you are going to do.
Be about it. Whatever that is.
Go for what you want and take what needs to be taken.
Be yourself and when it comes to me, play no games.
If you want me show me.
That which goes unsaid goes undone and mind readers, if there are any, are few.
If I have to lead and make every move, every text and every phone call we are at a loss because I give what I am given.
Interest must be shown to be reciprocated. In my world I’m all about 100 in all I do. We must meet in the middle.
Leave your past where it belongs. Come into this relationship brand new and I will do the same. This does not mean you dont talk about what has influenced your life. We must do this in order to grow and know what needs to be changed.
Focus on us.

Know what you want from your relationship and make it known.
Trust.
Listen.
Be attentive, especially if they’re attentive to you.
Keep it 100, please! If you want or don’t want something articulate it. It’s not that hard. We make it complicated. Most people don’t like complicated. I’m one that’s why my truth flows so easily.
Love when it’s honest is simple. Now that I have answered my own question I ask you….

Really think. Now ask yourself, what do I want?

Posted in author, blogging, connection, create, emotions, empowerment, fear, feelings, healing, honesty, hope, life, love, lovers, loyalty, needs, passion, poet, poetry, Relationships, sex, stories, trust, truth, writer, writing

Wolf

 images-2
He’s offered it to me
His savagery
Blazed in the wolf
beneath the human mask
Howls of hunger
feed on my skin and bone
Blood and sweat on silken sheets of white
Desire is the master of fear
and it tests me
 it’s shadow coats me in dreams
Oh…yes
Traces of your tongue deep as you
Bite down on my offering
Oceans and waterfalls for your thirst
a carnivore
The first man
awakens me
In a piercing moment
I am fed
Posted in companionship, dating, dating online, diolog, emotions, faith, feelings, love, lovers, loyalty, needs, online relationships, opinion, Relationships, trust, truth

The science of dating online….

What can I say about dating on line but my experience. I have been on a few dating sites and have had some success with it including a long term relationship of over six years. A very good man but as you know it takes time to know someone and once you develop a relationship things can change. You start learning the person you’re with and exploring what you can live with and what you can’t . We both had things we could not compromise so it was best to move on. For me that’s what a relationship really is, figuring out what you’re willing to accept and what you’re not.

Is the connection and love strong enough to side step the hurdles that come along? Because they do come and sometimes fast and furiously so, do you want to jump or fall flat on your face? It’s always your choice. But I digress.

Every time I have filled a profile online I am very direct. I express what I desire in a man and how I am myself. I post current pictures and answer all my messages even if I am not interested. Respectfully. Of course you get your lechers and those who want pictures they have no business having and I nicely delete and block the trolls so it’s all good. Some people online you must realize are just there for a quick good time and I’m not the one. A real and long lasting relationship is my goal.

But….

Relationships are work! Big, long and rigorous work. You have to really want to explore and do the job with intent in order to achieve any type of success. I was married for 16 years and all of it was work. You must find joy in it and the willingness to accept your one as they are for it to last. When you first begin you must put all of your cards on the table and be willing to deal with rejection if that’s not what they’re willing to accept. I dated a man with so many broken cards and jagged scars that I knew it wouldn’t work but I dated him anyway.

After it was over I asked myself why? Why would I date a man so broken? Did I intend to try and heal his wounds? Maybe. I have made that mistake many times though I know better. Every situation I learn something new so I let go much faster than I would have in the past. I am proud of that. I gained reason with time and now think much clearer when making decisions on what’s right for me.

It is not your job to fix people. So if you find yourself doing that, let go.
Don’t waste time trying to make a person see things your way because most of the time they don’t want to. We are creatures of habit.
If you know that you have massive issues yourself, fix those first. Don’t travel to your new relationship with old baggage.
When you know somethings wrong look at it, talk about it, analize it even but don’t turn a blind eye to it because it will repeat itself until you pay attention to it and resolve it.
You are stronger than you look or feel so yes, you can do it. Your main question will be are you willing to accept unhappiness enough not to be on your own.
I’m willing to be on my own. I’m willing to wait for the one who I can love enough to accept him whole heartedly. So that’s where I stand.

I’m not waiting for Prince Charming just the prince made for me.