Posted in author, blogging, fear, healing, health, honesty, hope, learning, life, love, poet, poetry, stories, Uncategorized, writer, writing

The cycle


Breaking the cycle 

Is not easy 

The wheel you go around in has spokes

and is perfectly round, so hard to stop

once it gets rolling

trampling everything in its wake

even when you love it

you can still step on it 

Breaking it. 

Posted in blogging, change, dialysis, empowerment, faith, fear, healing, health, illness, kidney disease, learning, life, love, transplant, truth, Uncategorized, writer, writing

The kidney is just the beginning: On the transplant Road

      

                 The last time I blogged I was still on dialysis twice a week two and a half hours a treatment. After six and a half years I was pretty much used to what my life was and how it was working out. Treatment didn’t bother me as much anymore and the pain was almost non existent or maybe I was just used to it. 

BUT THEN…

Just as I was all used to it on September 3, 2016 I received the call that has changed my whole existence. I got a kidney! My transplant happened when I least expected it. With a heart full of prayers for loved ones and friends I went to Saint barnabas medical center for my gift. On September 4 I had a new battery and ready to begin a new life with no more issues. But can you say hold up? 

Yes, we have no idea at least I had no idea that the transplant is just the beginning of the road. Not the end. The real work began after the blessing. 

Let’s talk about recovery shall we? 

I have been transplanted about three months now and currently in the hospital in a state I don’t even live in. I came to visit my mom for the holidays and my creatinine got too high so here I am admitted and awaiting. However I digress, I am still mighty blessed! Every day. 

When you first get a transplant you need your meds every twelve hours. The amount of pills vary from 20 to 30 Pills a day depending on how your organ is settling. See this organ was never yours. It’s a gift so you need anti rejection medications so you won’t loose it. You must work to keep it. This is why I say the work begins after the blessing. Along with medication comes recovery from a long suture on your belly. I had 20 some odd staples holding me together. Its difficult to walk but as the days go by you begin to feel better, more alive and healthier. My hair grew inches and my nails that never grew began to grow. My skin glowed and I became, though still recovering a new person. 

It is a difficult period in my life but full of miracles as well. I am getting there. Trust that I will. 

Getting used to the meds and the doctor twice a week in the beginning takes some getting used to. 

Blood work and urinalysis every week

Stint removal and fear of any little twinge on your access site wears on you but then you think about all of those years on dialysis and you’re mighty blessed and grateful despite side effects or anything else that comes along the most important thing to remember is that someone who died gave you life! 

This is a path. It has been my destiny thus far. I am on a road after all and I never forget that every road has hurdles and bumps and some even have mountains to arrive at the other side. This is my road and although sometimes it’s difficult and a trial I am fully faithful that God gave me this kidney and road for a reason. With his help, guidance and blessing I have my new battery and I’m ready to walk! 

Stay blessed and grateful! 

Posted in blogging, empowerment, faith, friendship, healing, hope, life, motherhood, plannerperfect, Uncategorized

The Method to Our Madness

Have you ever found something that impacts you to a level that you just need to share it with the world? Something so beautiful and inspiring that it simply makes your creative spirit soar?
Everyone knows I am a writer and poet and love more than anything to be organized and plan what I want to do with my life, how to do it and to dream of the future. Eight months ago I came across Planner Perfect by Jenny Lind Penton. A method of planning that has changed my life. I had used other ways of planning all my life but I never found something that suited me as her method does. Jenny has found a way to help you organize  not only your life but to include your dreams in your plans. She has taught me and countless women to write a better story. There is no better feeling for an artist than to be able to dream. To see your inspiration and aspirations on paper and be able to make a plan of action to develop them and bring them to life. For me that has to be the best part of the method. However I would be remiss if I did not tell you that what caught my eye first was the beauty and quality of Jenny’s plan books. There is nothing that I can say which would do justice to her level of craftsmanship. Her art is magnificent and so beautiful. You just have to see it for yourself to believe it. She blends beauty with functionality and brings forth a product of excellent quality. If you are a planner and want to find a new way to further your dreams, this is it. Take my word for it for I don’t give it lightly. The Planner Perfect Method is a whole new and excellent way to plan and I have never been more exited about my dreams and future.

Posted in Uncategorized

What we believe…



I haven't posted in a while life just seems to get in the way but never more than laziness. Im one of those people that has to have the enthusiasm in my very bones in order to write. My bones have been weary. I won't bore with the reasons I have not written. We all have our whys and why nots, sufficient enough to say that I didn't for a simple reason. It wasn't in me to do so. So I won't sit here behind my iPad and recite the many excuses that would make only me feel better for my lack of devotion, instead I will tell you I am back and I will do better for those who are interested in what I have to say in this here blog. I also want to thank all of you who have nominated me for awards. I am completely blessed and honored that you find my words worthy of the gift. And so I will return, hopefully better and with wiser things to say. I will also be checking in on you all, my writers and literary champions. Thank you for having me 🙂

 

Posted in blogging, honesty, life, stories, truth, Uncategorized, writer, writing

Forgive & Forget

20120501-185836.jpg

It never ceases to surprise me the gullibility of people. It’s sad to see how many are able or indeed enjoy the bullshit handed to them. Repeatedly I see people deceived by the easiest things to assess. Lessons for some seem like a game of whack a mole to me. They get whacked repeatedly yet refuse to see what is smacking them in the face.

The truth is, you can’t change that. Ignorance as they say, is bliss. Still it doesn’t mean that because you are willing to stomach your daily beating, others would be as obliged. I for one am the type of person for who one lesson is learned and learned well. No footnotes necessary. I am an apt pupil and from the time I learn my lesson, there is no need for a repeat occurrence.

Maybe it’s just the Scorpio in me but when it comes to disrespect or falsehood I am bound to shut down. I am one who looses trust easy when I am betrayed. The worst trait in me is my inability to forgive or oversee a slight done to me. I work on it daily though sometimes it can go overboard yet even forgiving can be easy, now forgetting? There lies the rub.

There is no amount of false smiles and pretend affection that can cloak the truth of what I have already seen in you. The saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. With me there is never a twice for I have an unfortunate photographic memory. Perhaps that is not the best trait to possess but it sure keeps me safe and aware and most of the time, pain free and that, I don’t mind one bit.

Posted in Uncategorized

Thought Matters…


Every day I find I have the same challenge. What should my blog be about today? It seems when I want to write most, topics elude me. Most of my work you see is poetry. I think like a poet, no matter what there is to say it comes out in the form of stanzas. Blogging is a new thing for me although writing is not. I have had so many poetry blogs throughout the years that I’m sure there’s a minuscule file out there in cyberspace with my name somewhere.
Let’s see I’ve had MySpace, writers something or other, of course Facebook and I currently own a blogspot and a WordPress account. Yes I am officially all over the place. However it is my intent to correct all of my numerous wanderings by consolidating all of my work in one word home. My very own site. Still the change is wearing on me. I have many questions. Will people visit my new site even though they’re use to going into blogger to find me? You know how people hate to be indisposed. Most people, even when they can find you, rarely go looking for you. The truth is writers are very selfish creatures. They don’t mind one bit having you read and gloat over their work yet, when it comes to reading another writers? Well, thats a whole other story. And so the questions persist. Will there be new traffic to my site and how do I get it? How do I get people interested in what I have to say? As people we are very fickle and set in our ways and there are so many blogs out there. Should I go from a free site to a paid one? Those are just a few of the questions plaguing me about this change.
There is no commitment made as of yet, I’ve not signed on the dotted line. I am currently working with the 14 day free trial to see if it strikes my fancy enough to shut everything else down and pay for a new site. Before now a few years back actually I would have simply paid and see if it worked out. Today I am a more patient person. I will do the trial, really take time to work on the site and in the last three days remaining, I will put it out there and test it out. It is all perspective after all.