I am 48 and I sill wonder what love is. I have some ideas of what love is but at times I still wonder and I think its because every time I think I have it figured out I get knocked on my ass as God laughs and waves a preverbal finger my way saying “That’s not it”, you my dear have much yet to learn. And I know I do. I am a lover but I have a fair amount of fighter in me as well. I want to know things when I want to know them and I want to know them for sure. Love can’t be researched though, its the language of the heart and we are all just trying to figure it out in our own way. I know love is kind, patient, trusting and all that good stuff or at least its supposed to be that way. I am loving and I try to be kind although my patience sucks ass most of the time. This I know and have been told by several people. Still aside from those things, what is love to you?
To me it’s being there for the ones you claim to love.
Being honest even when you think it will hurt.
Trusting and keeping your word.
.Being faithful if it’s a relationship and treating the person as you yourself want to be treated. Of all of the other things I think this is what love is the most because if you treat others as you’d like to be treated yourself everything else falls into place.
What do you call love?
People say change is good and to a point I am inclined to agree but what happens when the people around you refuse to let you grow? What happens when things won’t change with you. Do you leave them behind? Do you refuse and grow alone or do you stay stagnant in hopes of making others happy. This can be a loaded question to many people.
I was always the type of person who gave everything to make others happy. I would forgo my wishes and ideals and even dreams if it didn’t coincide with what others in my life wanted.
When I was married if my then husband didn’t want me to do something, his wish was my command. Even with all that I gave, in return for nothing, was not worth it because I divorced him after fifteen years of too much. Still after years of too much I continued to get into relationships with men who always expected me to give up something. I was expected to give my love,time, space and even money to keep others happy when in my heart I knew that was not the way.
I went as far as to stay in a relationship I knew was going nowhere for five years. It didn’t end well.
That was a big wake up call for me. The biggest one to date. It showed me that I had to decide whether I was going to live for others, or for myself. When that relationship ended I decided that I was through giving my all to people who didn’t deserve it. I was done giving my time,space and love to anyone who wasn’t worthy because, if I didn’t know it before I learned then that I am just as worthy as anyone. I am worthy of love, appreciation and loyalty. I learned that you can’t give everything to someone else because you are very likely to remain empty and worst, angry.
Now I give as I get. I love when I’m loved. Appreciate when I am appreciated and trust the trust worthy.
Of course I didn’t learn over night. Plenty of heartbreak lead to this revelation but I know our lessons never come easy, there’s always a price. The longer you take to learn it, the steeper the price. You always pay but the expense is up to you.