Lately I have been reading a lot about getting myself and my writing together, specifically my life and my blog. Both seem to be at a standstill lately. For some reason after the loss of my job I can’t seem to get it together. I love to write and get my thoughts across so I never understand why I slack off or procrastinate about doing the things I actually love. I love poetry and I so enjoy writing it. As for regular writing such as this blog, I really enjoy that too. I mean I have a few hobbies I am completely obsessed with like my art journal, my happy planning and my regular journal writing so I never get it when I begin to ebb with the things I love to do so much. I am still trying to figure it out mostly because I don’t realize I’m sabotaging myself until it’s well under way. It’s like a slithering snake this procrastination thing.
You know when you’re working all the time and curse the fact that you never have enough time to do what you really love to do?
Well, when I was working I was always frustrated about that fact. I always told myself that if I ever had the time I would write and journal all day. I would spend my whole day being creative. What baloney. I have been jobless for close to two months and I can’t seem to motivate myself to do any of what I always bitched about before. I sit tired from doing nothing yet unable to build the enthusiasm to do what I always spoke of. I wonder if I have some form of delay maybe it’s the “maybe later” disease that everyone acquires when they believe they now have all the time in the world. I’ve heard of people becoming depressed over life circumstances and not even knowing it or feeling what are regarded as symptoms of it. I don’t know really. I do know that I am certainly not where I would like to be in my life now. I also know I have to find my way out and into action all by myself. No one can fix you. As Buddha teaches: You must be your own salvation.
I am beginning with this blog and by writing lists of no more than five things to do at a time as to not overwhelm the senses. I figure this way the necessity to procrastinate will perhaps slightly diminish. I am hoping so anyways. I am putting my money on slow and steady. After all isn’t that what they say wins the race?