There are things we are all good at. We all have a few things we excel at no matter how bad we think we are at things. Some of us are great speakers; some of us are great talkers. Some are great at managing things. We all have our niche.
I am good at helping others solve their problems. Somehow I have always been the person everyone else turns to when they have an issue they just can’t seem to figure out. It has been that way since I became a teenager.
My friends would come to me with boy or girl issues, even parent issues. They would sit with me and tell me their lives and secrets without my ever asking. All of their information would pour from them like water and somehow what I had to say always made them see things in a whole new light and gave them perspective.
This ability has followed me my whole life. My girlfriends turned into women who needed advice on the men in their lives. People I worked with suddenly felt the need to be open with me and tell me their life problems. Even employers have fallen into this category at one job or another. I sit and listen and let them know what I think and I think perhaps that’s the key, listening.
People need someone to listen, to really listen. I don’t mean sit there and give your opinion, but to sit there and hear them and what they have to say. I think that is one of the things really missing in this world between people, the ability to hear one another and be compassionate to the problems they’re facing. I am blessed to be able to do that and I think it’s because I have had so much experience with not being heard.
Those of us who have grown up in homes where children are meant to be seen and not heard and definitely not allowed to have opinions go one of two ways. They either become silent in the world or they learn to listen.
When they become the best listeners they can understand and see beyond to what the person is not saying. They learn to appreciate the words and their meaning. I think that’s what happened to me. That’s why I can sit and quietly take in everything someone has to tell me and respond with what I believe to be the best answer I have. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons I am a writer as well.
If you do something well, whatever it is, do it with love and compassion. Make it flower within you for the benefit of those around you.
Do it for them and do it for yourself.
I have many acquaintances but as I’ve reiterated before, few friends. Recently I had begun to think about the gay best friend dynamic. What is it that makes the friendship so unified. What makes women want to have that one gay best friend? I was watching Will and Grace the other day and could not help but be a little jealous that I have never had a male bestie. I would love to have a real male friend who I could really be that honest with and he with me. All of this made me wonder what is all the hype about and is there a real Will and Grace out there.
What is the recipe? Is it the fact that it’s a friendship like no other? Is it that you can actually get the benefits of actually being best friends with the opposite sex without all of the complications of attraction? The jury is still out on that one, I really don’t know. The truth of it for me is that it looks fun. You can get all the secrets into men’s souls and not have to worry that the confidant will come on to you lol. You can share ideas and get honest answers.
Let’s be honest ladies we love our men but most of them don’t want to hear a out female issues or give you the gods honest truth a out them either. No man out there want to divulge the male code or break the man law. Anyhow these are the questions that cruise through my head on a daily basis I wanted to share it with you? Has this ever crossed your mind? Do tell.
This year I will be 43. I don’t know where the time has gone because I still feel fifteen in my head. I know my mind is different. I know that i have three kids of my own. I have learned and experienced much through the years but it still baffles me that I am almost 43 years old. Do you remember your mom telling you she was forty three and almost falling off of your chair at how ancient that sounded?!
Can’t you still remember when you were in jr. High and your friends? How nothing and everything was the end of your universe. I do. I remember the first day of school and how embarrassed I was when I realized my girlfriends had matured during the summer and I was still as flat as always. I remember how I lost my best friend to another girl and my other best friend kissed the boy I loved most in the world. I remember the growing pains, the tears and the invincibility of being young. How I’d like to return if only for one day. What would I do?
I would kiss that boy that’s what I would do! I would do everything I was too shy to do and do it loud because I would remember that everything Is quite impermanent. I would express what I felt irregardless of shyness.
Then again I would probably do exactly what I did then, because when your a child in a child’s body nothing is really about you. It’s all about making your friends happy, hoping they will like you and surviving just one more day. So as I did then I would probably cry through the pain, laugh through the joy and grow through the next day to come and when I got to 43 I would still wonder, where did the time go.
Well it seems I have been tagged and I’m always game for something cool so, here we go.
First of course I’d like to thank the tagger Hobbling Around for bestowing this kind honor upon me *cheese*
Tag-You’re it!- The Rules
- You must post these rules.
- Answer the question the “tagger” listed for you in their post,
- And create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
- Choose 11 people to tag and link to them in the post.
- Let each blogger know that you have tagged them.
The Question posed to me: What do you think has made the biggest difference in your life?
Well I would have to say needing a kidney transplant and being a dialysis patient. You never quite see yourself as mortal until you are confronted with death. Dialysis has shown me how to love and live better than I ever did before. I am a better mother, woman, daughter, lover and person for it. God knows me and I know God. I can honestly say if tomorrow was my last day, I can go with that. 🙂
Now comes the fun stuff!! I get to tag some people and ask some questions… Yaaay!! Let us begin shall we?
msWillz What can you do today that you could not do a year ago?
JordannaEast What is your greatest fear?
Iamnotdefined When are you least afraid?
thewritingaficionado What is the most precious gift you have ever received?
AnansiThePoet If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
knowthesphere What makes you most optimistic about the world today?
gigoid If there’s a lesson you’d teach the children of the world, what would it be?
alifelessscripted would you give your life for another?
InMyOpinion Do you think all forms of life are equally valuable no matter what a person has done?
MissKittyRoads What is your ideal job bar none?
julesorganicliving What is your greatest strength?
I hope everyone has fun with this. I know I have 🙂
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
Today I sat down at my computer wondering about friendship. I am amazed at how some people claim to be friends with someone when most of the time they don’t so much as know the last name of the person they call a friend. I am the first to tell you that I do not have many friends. I have tons of acquaintances, people I have met and would chit-chat anywhere with, but friends? No. Of those I can call friends I claim only two.
Now. It’s only fair that if I let you know my definition of friend since I only claim to have two people I call true friends.
A friend to me is someone who is loyal and honest with me at all times. A person I can trust with everything about me, free of judgement. One who I can call at any time of day or night in an emergency and believe without a doubt that they will be there when it got down to it. A friend is a person who always has your back in every situation yet isn’t afraid to let you know when you cross the line or are an ass. A friend laughs with you when you’re silly and cries with you when you’re sad. Most of all a true friend is trustworthy and survives the ups and downs of life. When a friend feels there’s something not right they come to you because they believe in your honesty toward them, as you believe in theirs towards you. This is my definition of friendship.
Many times I see people misrepresent the meaning of such a sacred bond, saying “oh, we were friends for a few months and then we stopped talking” That is not friendship. Friends talk and communicate. True friendships last for years and years. That’s not to say there wont be disagreements, there are always those, the key is surviving them and true friendships do that. Sadly the definition had been altered by some, made into something that has no resemblance to what I grew up with. Now I see women my age talking behind their “friends” back and the next day smiling in their face. It kills me and I just shake my head.
I truly hope that people take the time in the future to really define their friendships. I hope that they focus on practicing the art of being a true friend. A real friendship can save your life. A true friendship defines you. Are you a real friend?
Day 66 Question 66. Recently I came across this blog written by an obviously smart woman on weather she is a good friend and I am so glad I did. Friendship I believe is not what many people think it is. These days friendship has lost its luster for me due to the fact that people don’t want honest friends. They want bullshitters. A lot of the time, for many people friendship is code word for ” if you agree with me ” . Many times there is no room for honesty or for a person to be themselves. They must follow a criteria and the status quo in order to be considered a true friend. That status quo is always say the right thing but the problem with that is that the right thing is not always honest. In fact most of the time it’s a load of crap. I will admit my friendship count is very low mostly because I refuse to be fake. I refuse to give credit for bullshit or honor people who pretend to be something they’re not. And yes I too don’t bother with people I feel I have nothing in common with just to be kind or because someone I know knows them. In my opinion friendship is about truth and common ground. Not the latest faze or a popularity contest. With me, what you see is what you get. My true friends know that I am not going to agree with everything they say or be down with everything they do. They understand that I am an individual person with individual thoughts which I rarely change for anyone, and that’s how they accept me. I refuse to put airs or shows for anyone. This is the explicit reason why my Friendship count is so low. These days however everyone expects you to agree with everything they say and if you don’t you’re not being a good friend. However I believe that there are people out there that know true friendship when they see it. They don’t expect fireworks or pretensions in order to be my friend. They simply accept me as I am and keep it moving. This is the kind of friend I appreciate. People that know what you’re about and respect it. People who aren’t concerned with what you have or who else you’re friends with. These are the kind of friends I have. They’re only three of them but I know these three women have my back at all times. I can call at three in the morning and they’re ready for whatever. Never expecting anything in return or questioning because they know I’d do the same for them. True friendship I have discovered is very much like true love, unconditional. If and when you find it, it must be treasured because like gold you have to dig through a lot of shit to get it.