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The kidney is just the beginning: On the transplant Road


                 The last time I blogged I was still on dialysis twice a week two and a half hours a treatment. After six and a half years I was pretty much used to what my life was and how it was working out. Treatment didn’t bother me as much anymore and the pain was almost non existent or maybe I was just used to it. 


Just as I was all used to it on September 3, 2016 I received the call that has changed my whole existence. I got a kidney! My transplant happened when I least expected it. With a heart full of prayers for loved ones and friends I went to Saint barnabas medical center for my gift. On September 4 I had a new battery and ready to begin a new life with no more issues. But can you say hold up? 

Yes, we have no idea at least I had no idea that the transplant is just the beginning of the road. Not the end. The real work began after the blessing. 

Let’s talk about recovery shall we? 

I have been transplanted about three months now and currently in the hospital in a state I don’t even live in. I came to visit my mom for the holidays and my creatinine got too high so here I am admitted and awaiting. However I digress, I am still mighty blessed! Every day. 

When you first get a transplant you need your meds every twelve hours. The amount of pills vary from 20 to 30 Pills a day depending on how your organ is settling. See this organ was never yours. It’s a gift so you need anti rejection medications so you won’t loose it. You must work to keep it. This is why I say the work begins after the blessing. Along with medication comes recovery from a long suture on your belly. I had 20 some odd staples holding me together. Its difficult to walk but as the days go by you begin to feel better, more alive and healthier. My hair grew inches and my nails that never grew began to grow. My skin glowed and I became, though still recovering a new person. 

It is a difficult period in my life but full of miracles as well. I am getting there. Trust that I will. 

Getting used to the meds and the doctor twice a week in the beginning takes some getting used to. 

Blood work and urinalysis every week

Stint removal and fear of any little twinge on your access site wears on you but then you think about all of those years on dialysis and you’re mighty blessed and grateful despite side effects or anything else that comes along the most important thing to remember is that someone who died gave you life! 

This is a path. It has been my destiny thus far. I am on a road after all and I never forget that every road has hurdles and bumps and some even have mountains to arrive at the other side. This is my road and although sometimes it’s difficult and a trial I am fully faithful that God gave me this kidney and road for a reason. With his help, guidance and blessing I have my new battery and I’m ready to walk! 

Stay blessed and grateful! 

blogging · empowerment · faith · honesty · hope · life · love · truth · writer · writing

A Series of Prompts….. What are your religious beliefs? Have they changed or have they always stayed the same.


As I sit here watching this series on the bible I contemplate on what I honestly believe when it comes to religion. There are many things I believe in but before I begin I will tell you this, I do believe in God and I believe in Jesus and the fact that he was here to do right by mankind.
I believe that if you hold on to him he will guide you if your heart is true. I believe in his commandments. I have faith.

Now that we all know what I do believe in, there are also quite a few things which I don’t believe in at all and I fully understand that my opinions might stick in some people’s craw but the truth is that for me, that is irrelevant, My opinions will not change.

Yes, I believe in God’s commandments but only in his commandments. I believe that if you follow said commandments the life you live will be a great example to your fellow-man. If you were to treat your neighbor as you would yourself every other commandment should be quite easy to follow simply by not causing pain to others that you’d not suffer yourself.

I don’t follow religion. I follow God. I was raised to make up my own mind. My mother never raised us to follow dogma or to blindly follow priests or mans teachings and my opinion is that the bible is filled with mans words mixed in with Gods desire for his people.

If you want God in your life, invite him in. He is listening.
You don’t have to pay a priest to pour water over your child that he may have Gods blessing. Simply ask God to bless your child, your home, your life.

Ask God. Go to him, isn’t that what he told you to do?
He told you if you need anything come to me, through my son you can find me. Not through saints, through Jesus. I’m just saying.

My religious beliefs have never changed because they were never something I inherited from anyone. I read the bible on my own and when I was 15 I got on my knees and asked God to be in my life. I invited him and Jesus in. It was that simple. And he came. I felt the second of his arrival because my heart was asking and it was true.

It does not mean that I have not suffered since then or gone through trials. It means I have had the strength to surpass them.
God knows my face. He has given me a hand and because of him I am still here.
For this I am eternally blessed and grateful.

No matter what I may believe about anything else I do know this, God is within me and everyone else who honestly asks him into their life. He is not in wood and stone, he is in your heart and in your actions and you and I are his children.
Can I get an Amen!

Stay Blessed…..

blogging · empowerment · faith · fear · healing · hope · life · love · stories · truth · writer · writing

Change. It’s a Good Thing


People say change is good and to a point I am inclined to agree but what happens when the people around you refuse to let you grow? What happens when things won’t change with you. Do you leave them behind? Do you refuse and grow alone or do you stay stagnant in hopes of making others happy. This can be a loaded question to many people.
I was always the type of person who gave everything to make others happy. I would forgo my wishes and ideals and even dreams if it didn’t coincide with what others in my life wanted.

When I was married if my then husband didn’t want me to do something, his wish was my command. Even with all that I gave, in return for nothing, was not worth it because I divorced him after fifteen years of too much. Still after years of too much I continued to get into relationships with men who always expected me to give up something. I was expected to give my love,time, space and even money to keep others happy when in my heart I knew that was not the way.

I went as far as to stay in a relationship I knew was going nowhere for five years. It didn’t end well.
That was a big wake up call for me. The biggest one to date. It showed me that I had to decide whether I was going to live for others, or for myself. When that relationship ended I decided that I was through giving my all to people who didn’t deserve it. I was done giving my time,space and love to anyone who wasn’t worthy because, if I didn’t know it before I learned then that I am just as worthy as anyone. I am worthy of love, appreciation and loyalty. I learned that you can’t give everything to someone else because you are very likely to remain empty and worst, angry.
Now I give as I get. I love when I’m loved. Appreciate when I am appreciated and trust the trust worthy.

Of course I didn’t learn over night. Plenty of heartbreak lead to this revelation but I know our lessons never come easy, there’s always a price. The longer you take to learn it, the steeper the price. You always pay but the expense is up to you.


blogging · empowerment · faith · fear · healing · honesty · hope · illness · kidney disease · life · love · writing

A New Day

Another day at dialysis. I never like it much here although I am learning to tolerate it much better than I use to. It never ceases to amaze me when I step into the center, that smell of medicine that makes me want to run as fast as I can the other way. Out of here never to return. Still I tolerate the gagging feeling that overtakes my stomach. I swallow it back, straighten my back, lift my head and walk in. Everyone is very nice here and although it relieves the situation somewhat in other ways it doesn’t even make a dent on the spirit. Sitting down in this chair staring at the tubes in my arms can dishearten the strongest spirit. Still we come, we sit, we accept the pain and we endure. Never had I thought this would be part of my life yet it is. Kidney disease is my cross. Poly cystic kidneys to be exact. It’s a genetic disease passed down, a gift from my dads side of the family. I guess they had no money to give me.

Don’t feel sorry for me though. I have plenty of blessings in this life of mine. I got to 42 years with two wonderful sons 22 and 20 and a great daughter of 14 so I did good in that department. I am very proud of my kids. I have a wonderful man in my life and have 4 more kiddies because of it through him. I am a mother. I am blessed. Yes it’s hard not being able to give as much as I’d like but one day I will. When I get my kidney. I am strong I will survive this. Of course there are difficult days, the cramps, not being able to eat all I’d like but who am I to complain really?There are children with cancer, children who need hearts. I have had 42 years. I have lived. Where is the sense in a child having what I have? How is this fair? What right do I have to pine and moan of this when there’s a child hungry on this earth? There’s no why me in this life for me. Why me? Maybe because one day I will be able to help someone else through this because I have been here. Compassion is the light of God, whichever god you choose. Perhaps that is why me. Sometimes the tears come because I get fearful for there are still things I want to see and do. I want to see weddings and grandchildren. I want to grow old with my love. Don’t we all? Yet I have had 42 years so far and that ain’t bad. Hopefully I will have many more and I’ll tell you, I’m grateful for every second. Like Jack said in titanic.

Heres to making them count! And I shall.