author · honesty · hope · life · love · poet · poetry · truth · writer · writing

Why?

When I think of you
There are no butterflies
Instead there is a feeling of drunkenness that does not allow me
To think
Straight
I hear no songs of love or feel no woozy feeling
Of everlasting enduring bliss
Although I do feel overwhelmed by you
When you look at me
Responding to a question I’ve asked you
Two hours before

When I look at you
There are no double visions
Faint feelings of fainting at seeing the love of my life
Or shit like that
That only lasts about a Minute when people think they’re in love
But aren’t
Because when they don’t see you
It’s out of sight out of mind
And you stick to mine like glue
You know?

It’s when I feel you or taste you
That shit becomes real for me cause you’re
In my blood like a stream
In a really long song that you think will never end
And you taste like when you eat the best fruit ever
And wish it will never end
And that’s why I know this love is real
For me
I don’t know about you
Cause you’re the one who gets inside me every time
True?

I just float beneath or above you
Knowing there’s something potent there like
A warm home cooked meal on a cold cold day
when you swear your fingers will fall off from lack of heat
and your feet want to compete
with the rest of your body
on who gets home first
out of need to be around you

thats some shit
this love thing
but I still wonder
why?

blogging · empowerment · fear · healing · honesty · hope · life · love · truth · writer · writing

UnSettled on Love

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People who want to change you don’t love you. They love something about you.

When I hear people discuss love you would think it’s the hardest thing in the world as if they were discussing nuclear war instead of love which when honest and true is the simplest thing in the world. Loving is accepting someone purely as they came into your life without reserve. In my opinion when you love someone truly there is nothing that person needs to do to make you love them because you already do.

That person doesn’t need to become or mold into any preconceived notions of who anyone else thinks they should be, they can just be. They can be honest, pure, true, them. When you fall in love with someone and they immediately have something they want you to change, they’re not in love with you they love something about you. Something is not all. If you have to assimilate you’re settling and will never be truly happy.

Think about it.

blogging · empowerment · faith · fear · healing · hope · life · love · stories · truth · writer · writing

Change. It’s a Good Thing

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People say change is good and to a point I am inclined to agree but what happens when the people around you refuse to let you grow? What happens when things won’t change with you. Do you leave them behind? Do you refuse and grow alone or do you stay stagnant in hopes of making others happy. This can be a loaded question to many people.
I was always the type of person who gave everything to make others happy. I would forgo my wishes and ideals and even dreams if it didn’t coincide with what others in my life wanted.

When I was married if my then husband didn’t want me to do something, his wish was my command. Even with all that I gave, in return for nothing, was not worth it because I divorced him after fifteen years of too much. Still after years of too much I continued to get into relationships with men who always expected me to give up something. I was expected to give my love,time, space and even money to keep others happy when in my heart I knew that was not the way.

I went as far as to stay in a relationship I knew was going nowhere for five years. It didn’t end well.
That was a big wake up call for me. The biggest one to date. It showed me that I had to decide whether I was going to live for others, or for myself. When that relationship ended I decided that I was through giving my all to people who didn’t deserve it. I was done giving my time,space and love to anyone who wasn’t worthy because, if I didn’t know it before I learned then that I am just as worthy as anyone. I am worthy of love, appreciation and loyalty. I learned that you can’t give everything to someone else because you are very likely to remain empty and worst, angry.
Now I give as I get. I love when I’m loved. Appreciate when I am appreciated and trust the trust worthy.

Of course I didn’t learn over night. Plenty of heartbreak lead to this revelation but I know our lessons never come easy, there’s always a price. The longer you take to learn it, the steeper the price. You always pay but the expense is up to you.

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blogging · fear · honesty · hope · life · love · poet · poetry · writer · writing

The One You Love… Day 14 NPWM

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Two lips pressed upon me
In the morning light
A feeling like no other
When it’s the one you love

Warm embrace like a summer breeze
I curl into you
You curl around me
A feeling like no other
When it’s the one you love

Laughter in my ears
Reminiscing of the past
Discovering the future
Joy in my heart
A feeling like no other
When it’s the one you love

Sorrow in my spirit
Tears in my soul
With love and still alone
When you’re not there
And I miss you so
A feeling like no other
When it’s the one you love

daily do's

Here we go….

This be the beginning. I intend for this blog to be about daily life, the things that move me or piss me off. I want this blog not to be about my poetry i already have a blog for that and i intend to meke them two seperate entities but can a poet ever be seperated from her poems? I guess we will have to see won’t we? Today i begin this new adventure. i think like everything else in my life that is starting anew I wanted a new blog to go along with it. With my new home, new man, new family and new determination to get my words heard. The truth is there are too many damn writers out there and i am one of the masses although a very unique one so… here we go. Shall we begin?