Posted in author, blogging, empowerment, faith, fear, healing, honesty, hope, illness, kidney disease, life, love, stories, truth, writer, writing

A Series of Prompts….Write about your greatest Fear

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We all have fears. Some overpower us and make us into a mere shadow of who we are meant to be, what we are meant to do.

Before my fortieth birthday I would venture to say that my fears were minimal. There were few things I could honestly say I feared besides my children’s safety, their upkeep or raising them properly. I honestly think it is inherent in all of us to believe ourselves invincible.

That is why we find it so difficult to accept death or illness. God taught us to create life and so death seems unnatural although it is not.
Perhaps it is the fear of the unknown that shocks us most. Not knowing where you’re going can be a powerful catalyst for stopping you in your tracks and shaking your boots loose.

Still, fear has finally found me as it finds us all some time or other. It has found me in the form of kidney failure and dialysis treatments. It found me in the form of needing a transplant.

My fear is not getting the kidney I need to keep living. That I will have to continue existing plugged into a machine twice a week until my body gives out. That my life will not be all that I know it can be. This fear has in turn has caused a snowball effect as most fears do. Once we fear one thing we open the door to so many other fears. Now I fear not seeing my children getting married, not seeing graduations or grandchildren. Fear of this disease and what it does to my body has made less of me but not to the point where I have lost the woman I am underneath.

Fear can overpower us, yes it can, but only if we allow it. It can transform us into shadows but only if we dim our inner light and stop holding steadfast to our faith. It can change us but it doesn’t have to alter who we are.

I fall into my fear sometimes still but every day is less. Every day I remind myself that I am not the only ill person in the world. There are people out there suffering of terrible ailments worst than mine without the love and support I am blessed to have. I know that as bad as this may seem at times I am here for a reason.

I am alive for a purpose. I have been blessed.

So if you find yourself in fear remember all of those things we forget when fear grips us in its icy hold. You are still here. You are alive for a purpose. Fear does not have you unless you give it permission so hold fast to what you believe and turn up your light.

And if all else fails, come to me and I will help you remember that you too are blessed.

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Posted in blogging, empowerment, faith, honesty, hope, life, love, truth, writer, writing

A Series of Prompts….. What are your religious beliefs? Have they changed or have they always stayed the same.

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As I sit here watching this series on the bible I contemplate on what I honestly believe when it comes to religion. There are many things I believe in but before I begin I will tell you this, I do believe in God and I believe in Jesus and the fact that he was here to do right by mankind.
I believe that if you hold on to him he will guide you if your heart is true. I believe in his commandments. I have faith.

Now that we all know what I do believe in, there are also quite a few things which I don’t believe in at all and I fully understand that my opinions might stick in some people’s craw but the truth is that for me, that is irrelevant, My opinions will not change.

Yes, I believe in God’s commandments but only in his commandments. I believe that if you follow said commandments the life you live will be a great example to your fellow-man. If you were to treat your neighbor as you would yourself every other commandment should be quite easy to follow simply by not causing pain to others that you’d not suffer yourself.

I don’t follow religion. I follow God. I was raised to make up my own mind. My mother never raised us to follow dogma or to blindly follow priests or mans teachings and my opinion is that the bible is filled with mans words mixed in with Gods desire for his people.

If you want God in your life, invite him in. He is listening.
You don’t have to pay a priest to pour water over your child that he may have Gods blessing. Simply ask God to bless your child, your home, your life.

Ask God. Go to him, isn’t that what he told you to do?
He told you if you need anything come to me, through my son you can find me. Not through saints, through Jesus. I’m just saying.

My religious beliefs have never changed because they were never something I inherited from anyone. I read the bible on my own and when I was 15 I got on my knees and asked God to be in my life. I invited him and Jesus in. It was that simple. And he came. I felt the second of his arrival because my heart was asking and it was true.

It does not mean that I have not suffered since then or gone through trials. It means I have had the strength to surpass them.
God knows my face. He has given me a hand and because of him I am still here.
For this I am eternally blessed and grateful.

No matter what I may believe about anything else I do know this, God is within me and everyone else who honestly asks him into their life. He is not in wood and stone, he is in your heart and in your actions and you and I are his children.
Can I get an Amen!

Stay Blessed…..

Posted in blogging, empowerment, faith, honesty, hope, life, love, truth, writer, writing

Conversations With Love

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we spoke, we always speak he and I
some of the most interesting and intriguing conversations of my life
they light my mind
with thoughts
and today was no different
today was transforming
a man aches
he can ache as hard and profoundly as any soul, as any woman
As I have been, so has he been
hurt badly time and time again and still we found each other
through the rubble of our existence and all we have endured we laugh
is love laughter despite the tragedy that can follow you blindly through
ceaseless caverns
or is love understanding that we are all human and have wounds within us which
we could only hope another
like us understands
is love a journey you are willing to take with another
one you can hold on to so that you may each be that crutch for one another,
walking thru the mines
That have taken a bit of each of you
Leaving you both with a slight limp
before you found each other
Is love a blending
As we blend
When we are together
Not knowing where you begin
And I end

We speak
and every time we speak
i look at the mirror that is me
in him and through his eyes i see
that we have both seen tragedy
the wisdom of pain has marked us both
and so we are both ready
to just love
and be
for each other that which we tried to be for others
suffocated in their un acceptance and insecurity
i have found love with knowledge
in a time when i least expected it you see
We only think we know what we need until we meet our eternity
Our forever in another’s eyes
Who sees the shadows of our
Complexity and still
Wants to stay

We speak
And it’s in no complicated manner
It’s easy
The way we blend
I fit in his jagged crevices and he
Washes my bruises away
Thru simple words that are not
Always I love you
The truth never begs to be
Repeated it just is
Us
We want and do what we would do for those who
Never accepted our natural
Heart moves
He beats for me
Teaching me that my wait was not a burden to be born
But a slow meal
He has come to serve
And in return
I will feed
Him

We speak
And grow strong
Fattening each-other’s souls
With faith in what is
What will be
What is to come
What we’ve become
We are