I have always journaled. For over 45 years now that I think on it. I began at about 15 years old and I’m currently 51 so. It has always been a passion for me. I have had a long love affair with the paper and the pen. It is my form of meditation and it is deeply embedded in my soul. I don’t feel whole if I have not written each day. I’ve had countless journals and my life is written down in many forms. I don’t only write. I paint, collage and draw as well. Whatever catches my eye, mind or heart ends up between the pages eventually. Here are a few of my current journals.
I have been a mother for what seem like most of my life. My three, now grown children were the essence of what I did and where I went for now twenty seven years of my life and I would not trade it for the world. Seeing them grow has been my privilege and blessing. Being a parent gives you a new perspective on life and all its trials give you strength you never thought you might possess. Still life comes with changes and my greatest change has arrived, an empty nest! That trial that all mothers and fathers eventually go through after spending half their lives raising children. It isn’t easy trust me I’m sure there are many parent out there that have no idea what to do with themselves after their children have gone.
I was one of those parents. I was stuck in the role of being a mom and being there for my children was all I did. That’s what moms do and we don’t regret it one bit. I am very proud of all of my children and I am honored to have devoted my time to them, that’s why I had them. Still the time has come for me to write a better story for myself. It’s time to dream of a future of my own. There are still many blessings to look forward to. You, We still have a life to live. one that hopefully has many years left. As a woman I find we need a sisterhood of women to help us do this. A place to develop all the other talents we may have hidden or placed on the back burner to attend our loved ones. A group of like minded individuals to push us forward in our new adventure. We need mentors and a process by which to navigate and go to our destiny. This is your time!
What’s your story? What do you want for you? What is your dream?
Now, Go. Find it. Do it. Be it! I am with you.
Hello my fellow bloggers. I am here to invite you to my new poetry blog http:// poeticallybloo.wordpress.com I know some of you used to follow my last poetry blog which I decided to close down due to expenses I could not afford at the moment and I hope you will come to partake of my poetry here. I will most definitely follow your page with my new blog in return. Thank you in advance for your continued support.
An empty page is an intimidating thing. I sit here before a blank screen just as blank. What to do? I have a blog and no feeling to write. This is a forced exercise to say something so I figure I will just speak to you all. It’s Sunday afternoon and I am in my office looking at everything that surrounds me.
I have a desk I bought in pieces, which my man helped me put together. It’s two horses and four planks and he screwed them in so it’s very sturdy. I drew all over it too. I find it beautiful and suits me to a t. I have my own printer/ scanner and typewriter. There are also a multitude of gadgets such as an ipad, iphone, samsung note 3, samsung 10.1 pad and a samsung chrome book. Suffice it to say that I don’t need anymore electronics. Life was simpler when I just had pen and paper. I found it so much easier to write. I came to the page with a pen and a dream, and I wrote.
It seems now that with social media it’s as if everything which needs to be said gets said throughout the day on twitter with its 140 characters, on instagram with a photo or on facebook with a combination of both so what would I have to say that you’d like to hear? What have I not said before?
I know! My life. That I have not said before and it is uniquely to me and so I will tell toy my life from now on. We will go to the very beginning as far as I can remember. This will be my story so no one else will have it. There will be no replications of it, it will be me in my entirety. I am happy to share. I shall give you me. I hope you’re ready because I don’t know that I am but I have waded into the water now and there is no going back. The life and opinions of elliebloo is now born. Like it or not.
Here I come.
I have never been able to stay friends with an ex. I just never have seen the need or reason to. Some people are great at staying friends with people they’ve slept with and broken ties with at least the physical ones. I am not one of those people. I have never felt the need to continue a relationship with a man who has not worked out for me. After all there was a reason it didn’t work out.
To me, you’re an ex for a reason. I am not saying you’re a bad person because if you were completely bad we would have never had any kind of connection however for me, if we’re done we’re done. I wish you well but I also wish you to move on. There is no need to keep conversing with you about our past, what went wrong or what could have been. I have no need to be in your life or hear about your current possibilities with the new woman you’re with, but that’s just me. That is why I don’t understand these men or women who can’t seem to let go.
I see these people directly or indirectly following their ex’s on Facebook or twitter like prepubescent 12 year olds to find out what the ex is doing and who they’re doing it with. I see them altering their hashtags or statuses with hidden barbs toward the ex or even worst the new person in their life as if that new person had anything to do with the failure of their relationship. High school revisited.
I wonder if these ex’s ever stop to think that the new person has no idea nor cares about what happened with them? This new person is busy trying to make their own relationship work so let it go. I have never been one to harp on an ex, not even an ex husband much less an ex boyfriend. And I certainly am not going to blame the person they moved on with. What the hell do I have to do with them.
Still, I understand the feelings involved because I’ve been hurt and I am a woman. There are things that are hard to get over but I won’t be blaming anyone but the person I had the relationship with. I suggest making the right calculations before you call the other woman or man names or blame them for your failures. Place your anger and disdain where and on who it belongs or better yet cease and desist, move on and let it go. Grow up and move on.Nuff said.
It is so true that the people who come into our lives can change us. They can alter us in ways we don’t even see until they have been gone too long for us to remember.
Those who have loved us fitfully can alter us to be better lovers just as those who have hurt us can transform us into bitter souls who only remember pain. I wonder is it really up to us to allow someone to change us or do circumstances ingrained into our psyche transform us whether we like it or not?
I, as many of us have gone through a lot in my life. I have been hurt and disappointed by friends, family or lovers many times over and I would be lying if I did not acknowledge that those situations have altered me and the way I commune with people. I know they have.
I know that I am quick to put up a wall, to look into things where there might be nothing or to over think a situation until it resembles nothing near the facts.
I know that I am quick to react and cut people off if I even slightly smell an odor of untruth about them and boy am I good at it too!
I know that I can be quick to judge a person who’s hurt me in the past and even quicker at not trusting them again.
Still, I am also quick to love and despite my own instincts I am quick to trust until I am given a reason not to. I am quick to listen. I learn.
The most interesting thing for me is that I know what has changed me and actively work on the negative aspects of it. I often stand on the sidelines of myself and reflect on my reactions to what affects me and I try. I can’t say I catch them all even when I’m aware but I can say I try. I try to not allow other people’s actions to change who i am at my most basic.I try not to allow my previous experiences to stain my present or future negatively.
I try to stay true to me and to you. That’s a beginning.